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YOUR SELF-EFFORT IS OK --BUT IT'S NOT ME!
Paul Bell
Jun 7, 1999
A Word Through Paul Bell
Note from Steve Shultz, Publisher, THE ELIJAH LIST
Some men (and women of course) are effective in the area of bringing people into an understanding of--and intimacy with-- the Father. That's their gift. Even their calling. I love, for instance, how Bob Jones always refers to The Father as "Papa." I've even tried that quite a few times, calling the Father by that name, "Papa." I've prayed, "Papa, would you help me with this problem?" You know what? It worked! In that moment I was "closer." I can't explain it, ---I just got closer to him for that conversation. Scripturally, we are encouraged to cry out to our "Abba, Father," which could be translated as "Daddy." One of the ways we are brought to understand this relationship with the Lord is when a writer or speaker discloses his own conversations and misunderstandings with God. It's even kind of fun to listen in as the Lord has to correct someone. Makes me feel like I'm in company with another person who understands how I blow it myself.
Below is one of those conversations we are allowed to overhear. The writer asks the Lord, "why do I have this [intimacy] and many others do not. What do you say about this, Dad?"
Read on to discover the Lord's answer to Paul Bell . . .
Date: Fri, 04 Jun 1999 From: Paul Bell
"YOUR SELF-EFFORT IS OK --BUT IT'S NOT ME!" - A Word Through Paul Bell
Dear Heart after God,
I have received a very strange word from the Lord. At least it was strange to me but very freeing. You know, for the last few weeks, I have been very aware that my brain gets in the way of Knowing God. And that the presence of the Holy Spirit s Fire upon me has been dealing with brain control or should I say His control over brain power in me.
I am blessed to have a resting anointing upon my life where I know that I can just be with Him and He with Me. That I do not have to do anything at all to enjoy Him. Just to be with Him. But at the same time I want so much more. I am in one way so unsettled and yet at such a peaceful rest. I have been really pondering the letters that I have gotten and the folks that I have met that find they do not know of this place. But they do so want to find this place of intimacy. So I have looked back and asked Dad, what is the key to unlock this door. Why do I have this and many others do not. What do you say about this DAD?
The word He gave me sort of rocked my doctrine of walking in the Spirit. For I have for many years been crying out to God, Unless you build the house I labor in vain. Unless you stand watch on the wall the town will not be saved. And I believe that this is for sure a very important motive in all of our relationships with Dad. But the word He gave me was this. Paul, your self effort is OK it has brought you to me. Your self effort is OK as long as you do not say that effort is ME.
Well this sort of threw me for awhile but what finally I got was this. That it takes some self-effort to know HIM. And that is OK. But when we tell others that this is the work of God we are wrong in that. I fast to know Him. I need understand that this is my effort that I want Him to meet me in it. It is not a work of Holiness or Spirituality as in me being holy. But this is me saying Oh Dad, see how much more I want of You. Here Father, I move towards you. I want You to meet me as I move toward You.
Look at what the Revelation tells us, to wash our robes , and again, buy eye suave . This is an act that comes from our choice. Even if it looks like self-effort it is making a statement. God what can I do? What will bring You to me? IT is not what is promised that fulfills me; you are what I need. I must have you become what is promised.
We are in the time of the history of the Nation of God within the Kingdom of God where we stop just doing the things of God and become the people of God. He must come to us as He did in the tent of meeting. His Glory must come and rest on us. He must come and not go. He is to dwell in us. God among His people. And we need to pour ourselves out to Him to do this. Do not just sit and say Oh, God come to me. You must say Oh, God I come to You. I run to you. I will exhaust myself for You. I will burn myself out for You. I will die if you do not come. I can not live without your fullness in and on me. I pour myself out before you. I must have all of YOU. For just how can I love the Lost when I am in such need of You. How can call you down from the mountain for others when I myself am too Lovesick to feed myself?
Well do not put off crying because you are afraid of self-effort. Do not call your self-effort the doing of God but call it what it is. My moving toward God. My positing to meet Him. For I will become more the FOOL for Him. I will give up the human needs for the Eternal God that I have come to Love so much.
I will have Him. I will be made to be Lovely in His Sight. He will turn and seek to meet me. My Voice will turn His head. The fragrance He smells is from Me. For I have anointed my head with oil from the Throne of God. I have been washed and make whole that You my Love will Come to ME. Do not Tarry. Do not put off this Day. Come my Love. Come for me. I will not sit in the window and watch but I will run in the fields listening for the sound of your voice, so call for me early my Love. Call my name as you come. History must make room for Your Day, our Day. I am Your Promise from Father. I can not wait my Love so I will run ------
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