How to Know When It's Time for a Change
"Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me." (Psalm 23:4 NLT)
Have you ever had a moment in life where you realized that something had to change? You know you can't keep living "like this" any longer. You maybe tolerated something for a long time, hoping things would get better, but they haven't.
It could be a relationship that's not healthy, or a job. You never loved it, but it has recently become intolerable. Or maybe it's a church you're part of that once felt like your spiritual home, but something happened. Things are now different.
You keep going and keep going and keep going. And then one day, you come to a decision: I can't do this any longer. I'm done. I'm finished. I'm out of here. Some call it "the straw that breaks the camel's back." I call this the crisis stage of transition.
It's unsettling, but it's also comforting, because you're finally ready to make the change that you've been putting off for so long. The only thing left to do is to figure out how and when to make your exit. But it's happening soon. The decision has been made. (Photo via Pexels)
The 7th Stage
For years, when I taught about transition, I only explored six stages:
1. Disruption: My settled life is shaken in some area. What was once easy and straightforward has become complicated and full of friction.
2. Detachment: I'm not ready to move on yet, but I'm becoming increasingly emotionally detached.
3. Separation: At some point, the detachment and distance grow, and I leave.
4. Disorientation: This is the in-between, the "messy middle," where there is confusion and lack of certainty. I've left the old behind, but I haven't stepped into the new. So, I feel like everything is in limbo.
5. Discovery: I'm starting to dream about the future and discovering a new life beyond what I've left behind. There is potential and possibility. I have plans, and I'm hopeful.
6. Emergence: I'm settling into my new way of life. I look around and can see how much things have changed. I have new rhythms and patterns in my life that are healthy.
As I mentioned, I taught these six stages of transition for years, until recently. However, I always had this niggling feeling that I was missing a stage. The six stages didn't feel complete. Plus, seven is a much nicer Biblical number!
Early this year, one night, I woke up at 3:00 AM. Among the myriad of thoughts racing through my mind, the Holy Spirit dropped into my mind the final stage of transition I had been trying to figure out.
It was crisis. Between detachment and separation, we often have to reach a crisis point. We often avoid the discomfort of change until it becomes more painful or costly to remain the same.
Trust God to Bring You to the Other Side
I thought about the church I had led for five years. We had sensed for a few years that our time there was coming to an end. God had even spoken to us to leave, but we stayed. Then came a crisis point. Relationships fell apart. We felt betrayed by people we deeply trusted. And we knew we simply couldn't stay there any longer. (Photo via Pxhere)
Within days, we told the congregation that we were moving on. And just over a month later, we drove away, completely uncertain of what lay ahead. We had no jobs, no home, no income. That marked the beginning of our season of understanding the reality of painful transitions.
It's been just over nine years since our departure from that place. Not everything has been perfect—life rarely is. But I can honestly tell you that we have experienced the goodness and faithfulness of God in ways I could never have imagined.
At times, I didn't know how we would pay our bills, but He has always provided. We didn't know where we were going to live, but we always had a roof over our heads. Our little boy moved around five homes in two years. But he's grown into a smart, confident kid.
What am I trying to tell you? God is with you in the crisis, in the storm, in the heartache, in the betrayal, in the burnout, in the loss, in the deep valley, and in the sickness.
Your God is with you. And your God is for you. And He will bring you through this challenging season to the other side. You might not be able to see how things can be better right now. But don't give up, because He has gone before you. He has made a way. He already knows what you need.
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Craig Cooney
HOPE Church | Daily Prophetic
Email:Â contactdailyprophetic@gmail.com
Website:Â dailyprophetic.com
Craig Cooney has been in ordained ministry for over fifteen years, leading churches in the north and south of Ireland. He is married to Becky, and they have a son named Elijah, as well as a labradoodle puppy named Henry. Craig is the author of four books: "The Tension of Transition," "SPIRIT SPEAK," "I Hear Yahweh," and "When the Lamb Roars." His passion is to help Believers to hear God's voice for themselves and apply God's wisdom as they navigate through the transitions of life.
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