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 "BITTERNESS
IN THE GARDENS OF OUR HEARTS"
by Francis Frangipane
http://www.frangipane.org/
Coming up Short of His
Grace
"See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness
springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled" (Heb 12:15).
It is impossible to pass through this world without being struck by injustice or
heartache. Unless we process our struggles in Christ, a single wounding of our soul
can create a deep bitterness within us, poisoning our very existence. In my 33 years
of ministry, I have known far too many Christians who have perfected the art of
looking polite, while living inwardly with an angry, cynical or resentful spirit.
They have swallowed the poison of bitterness and they are dying spiritually because
of it. The problem is that, as Christians, we know it is wrong to react with open
anger toward people. However, rather than truly forgiving and surrendering that
injustice to God, we suppress our anger. Anger is a result of perceived injustice.
Suppressed anger always degrades into bitterness, which is, in reality, unfulfilled
revenge.
The Bible not only provides the biographies of heroes of our faith, but it also
documents the lives of common people, individuals who experienced the same kind
of heartaches as we have. Some overcame wounding or loss and subsequent bitterness,
while others became examples to avoid.
An Example from the Bible
Consider Naomi from the book of Ruth. A famine in Israel led Naomi's family to migrate
to Moab. Without family or friends to support her, as aliens in a foreign land,
Naomi then suffered the loss of her husband; his death was followed by the death
of her two grown sons. When Naomi returned to Israel with Ruth, her daughter-in-law,
she announced to those who knew her, "Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara (bitter),
for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me" (Ruth 1:20).
The name "Naomi" means "pleasant." We can imagine that when Naomi was dedicated
to God as an infant, her parents prayed that her name would forecast her future.
Now, however, the very opposite had occurred. Naomi was deeply embittered by her
loss, to the extreme of blaming "the Almighty" for dealing "very bitterly" with
her.
If you have ever listened to a bitter person, there is nothing "pleasant" about
them. Yes, we should weep with those who weep, yet a bitter soul is a spirit trapped
in a time warp; they live in the memory of their pain.
Several years ago I met a woman who had suffered a difficult divorce. I talked with
her every six months or so for two years, and each time we talked she said exactly
the same things about her ex-husband. She was divorced from her husband, but now
married to a bitter spirit that held her captive to her heartache. For Naomi, her
bitterness was indirectly focused towards God. She was angry that He allowed hardship
in her life. "The Lord has brought me back empty" (Ruth 1:21). My sorrow is God's
fault.
A Contrast in Job
Contrast her life with that of Job's first encounter with loss (Job 1:1-22). Job
lost his family and possessions, yet he bowed and worshiped. "The Lord gave and
the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21).
How we handle sorrow reveals the depth of our worship of God. When life cuts us,
do we bleed bitterness or worship? Job bowed and drew close to God. Naomi withdrew
and talked about the Lord with her back to Him. I have dear friends who lost their
only son when he was a teenager. In the midst of their heartache, they have become
examples to everyone of true worship. Over the years, their pain actually purified
and deepened their worship; their suffering made them more compassionate toward
the suffering of others (See 2 Cor 1:3-4). And, I know others who have suffered
the sudden loss of a loved one and, within weeks, withdrew from God and became bitter.
Adversity does not perfect character; it reveals character. It exposes what is happening
inside of us.
Bitterness Poisons
In ancient times mankind experimented with vegetation, seeking to learn which plants
were edible and which were poisonous. In his search, he discovered that, generally
speaking, if a plant or fruit was sweet, it was usually safe to eat; bitter plants,
man discovered, would either sicken or kill. Likewise, the bitter experiences of
life, if we ingest them into our spirits, can become a spiritual poison that destroys
our thoughts, expectations and attitudes. Such an experience may enter your soul
via a relational wound or injustice; it can begin through a major disappointment
or loss. However, once bitterness enters the human soul, like ink spreading in a
glass of water, it can darken every aspect of our existence.
Indeed, not only can bitterness ruin our lives, Hebrews warns that a root of bitterness
can "defile many" (Heb 12:15). A spiritual root is a hidden, unresolved anger that
is buried beneath the surface of our lives. Outwardly, we look "properly Christian"
until we begin to discuss someone who hurt us. As we speak, that root "springs up"
and it defiles others. If you haven't dealt with your bitterness, beware when you
speak to others, lest you defile them with your words; and if you are listening
to an embittered person, take heed that the spirit of bitterness is not being transferred
to your life as well!
Bitterness through Neglect
In Genesis we find another bitter soul in Esau, the brother of Jacob. Esau had foolishly
bargained away his inheritance when he was young and then lost his father's blessing
when he was old. When Esau discovered he had lost both to his brother Jacob, the
Bible tells us he "cried out with an exceedingly great and bitter cry" (Gen 27:34).
To lose something through our laziness or neglect can create bitterness of soul.
Additionally, to have someone deceive us and take what was rightfully ours is equally
as destructive. I know people who were lazy and did not esteem their education.
Today they are bitter employees working for minimum wage. I also know young, unwed
mothers who let deceitful boys steal their virginity, which later also embittered
them. Even spiritual people can find themselves suffering with bitterness caused
by neglect. I know a pastor who was so devoted to his ministry, he consistently
neglected his wife. She finally divorced him; cry and plead as he would, he suffered
the bitter losses of his wife and the respect of his church.
Esau's loss made him very bitter; yet, have we, like Esau, lost the more valuable
elements of life because of our neglect? Have others received blessings that were
earmarked for us, and has that loss created bitterness within us? May the Lord reveal
to us these roots of bitterness that, like time-released poison, are quietly killing
us.
God desires to return to us our ability to love and laugh again. Next week we will
discuss how to uproot bitterness and get truly free. For now, let us sincerely approach
the throne of God's grace and ask Him to show us our hearts. Let us ask Him if the
garden of our souls is truly free of bitter roots.
by Francis Frangipane
http://www.frangipane.org/
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